Thursday, June 23, 2011


I mentioned wanting to travel a lot in my last several posts. What I failed to mention is that I used to have this debilitating fear of the unknown. It crippled my adventurous spirit until about the age of nineteen. That was when I finally looked up at myself in the mirror and went "time to grow a pair." Which I did. Figuratively of course. So I  manned up and did things I never thought I'd do. I spent an entire summer halfway across the country working with people I didn't know, ministering to middle school and high school kids, and doing construction projects that I'd never dreamed of accomplishing. I joined new clubs. I talked to people in class. I spent an entire semester making small talk with people who were older, wiser, and trying to determine if I would be a good fit for their company. I learned to interview well. I learned how to hold a real conversation. I got to know my classmates. I talked to strangers.

Most of all, I've learned that letting fear - of anything, but most importantly the unknown - will cripple you. Allowing fear to tether you to what you know keeps you from experiencing all that the world has to offer. I feel free. I've realized that if I hadn't let my fear of the unknown rule me for so long in middle school and high school, I might have turned down a totally different path. Maybe I would have tried out for the school plays in high school. Or joined a couple more clubs. Or chosen a different college. Who knows? But I feel that in spite of my weaknesses in the past, I'm right where I'm meant to be.

I let fear direct my life for way too long. I finally took back the reigns on my life and instead of holding back, I'm at a gallop. I want to travel, I want to explore, I want to learn, I want to experience. Mostly, I just want to live.

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